Don't fall and die ~

crimsonthehedgehog:

aspidochelon:

crimsonthehedgehog:

Maybe I AM being too edgy….I guess I should tone things down a bit….. *Sits at a desk on the set of a talk show* How’s everyone doing tonight

*shoots you*

Tough crowd *Laugh track* Well our first musical guest is Beyoncé who’s going to peform Halo *Beyonce sings Halo* Wasn’t that just great

gufiaoo:

When my mom throws a family party

image

 

You will fall in love with me. Then, just months later, you will fall out. I will pretend the entire time that I don’t know it’s coming.
Miles Walser, excerpt from “A Sonnet of Invented Memories”
(via lavandula)
toastedtoffee:

How true, wisdom from a 5 year old

toastedtoffee:

How true, wisdom from a 5 year old

thisisnotmyfairytaleendingg:

This is brilliant.

thisisnotmyfairytaleendingg:

This is brilliant.

yes-i-am-lucifer:

You just know nobody is reblogging this for the dog

bahboh:

the police officer looks down at his tummy and says “you are under a vest” and giggles to himself